Dr. Drake is telling me that the standard issue combat drugs we've been using are carcinogenic. I'm not sure what that means, but from his tone, I think it's bad.

My laser-like powers of intuition are confirmed, when he tells me to distribute a new batch of combat drugs to my troops, courtesy of Aperture Labs, and dispose pf the 820 doses of expired combat drugs he hands me in a black garbage bag.

"Find a deep hole, and put these in it. It's the only safe thing to do."

I disagree with his methods, but am out ranked.

We make planetfall on a big ball of sand. Trooper Lee unwisely pops his brand new dose of combat drugs immediately, and runs off taking point, eyes bulging, neck viens straining, and frothing at the mouth just enough to make you nervous. Scout Fergus is keeping him in sight, and we fall in at a combat trot.

Trooper Lee clears a ridge, issues a muffled scream, and goes silent. His vitals read flat, except for his pulse. We learn later he's quite dead, but the drugs will keep his heart going for hours. Science!

The squad assembles on the ridge, and we see where Trooper Lee has gone. A large cave maws at us, surrounded by crystals. Luckily, combat formation Kilo-14 is standard protocol for a dark cave surrounded by crystals, according to our field manual. We assume the formation, and advance like the triumphant human killers we are.

A combat permiter is established outside the cave by Troopers Gould and Cornell, and we proceed to find Trooper Lee dead at the bottom of a 60-foot hole, with what looks like a sphincter at the bottom. Our medic, Trooper McCandice decends to render aid, and discovers Trooper Lee is quite dead.

I decide to take the iniative, because that's how promotions happen, and decend into the hole. I take the bag of expired combat drugs, toss in a grenade minus a pin, and shove it into the sphincter.

Many bugs are killed, but we're apparently in a big chrystal sand worm, and it begins to get very uncomfortable.